It is no more a secret that I was born in a very orthodox family and it was very difficult for me to shake out whatever I got in the beginning or what I inherited. During my life in Mumbai specially early part, I was very much involved with Christianity and I was always finding myself visiting different churches of Mumbai. I often fitted there more than any die-hard Christians does.
While living in Middle East I was having many Muslim friends. Both the communities are drifted pole apart mainly due to partition and ugly scenario aftermath, and definitely, it will remain same in the context of latest happening in our country. However, it is true that I was having a few good friends out there. Even they were educated, God they were very orthodox. What about me? I was scared to eat any kind of meat at those friends house always thinking they may serve me beef or pork, so an orthodox Hindu always remains in me. Of course, one day I stopped eating all kinds of meat, not because I was an orthodox upbringing but because while eating meat I found myself some sort of uncivilized one. Sorry, who are eating, not meant to hurt them. While studying computer we often used to visit Haji Ali Dargah, it was really gave me nice feeling but cannot explain the cause.
Then I met a wonderful Sikh family, I was much close to the family, specially the daughter who was a friend of mine, now staying in Australia and her Sis-in-Law and no need to mention during that period I visited the Gurdwara regularly with them. I really liked the atmosphere and which prompted me to visit Golden Temple later.
Another community I liked to mention, very soft spoken and I was privilege to have a few friend among them too, yes, I am talking about Parses. Peoples from other communities never allowed to their holy place, I mean fire temple, so I cannot tell more about that.
Then a unique transition period came to my life. I finally settled in Mumbai, one day I realized that there were no God in me. I was not visiting any kind places that belongs to the any religious belief. During this time, things were very different for me, one day when I was waiting for someone near Matunga station, a known face smiled at me and asked
- Hi, going to temple?
There was small Ganesh Temple near by, but I was very irritated by her query and feeling as if she insulted me, shot back
- Why should I go to temple?
Then realized that she just asked a harmless question, instantly tried to repair the wrongdoing and replied with a smile
- Sorry, I am waiting for someone.
Therefore, every part of me including my soul was free from all kind of religion. In early nineties I moved to Dombivli, my friend from Vikhroli told me that moving to a new place, so I should perform a little puja. I told her if she feels that way then I do not mind. She found a priest and we performed a small puja. The priest left behind a small Ganesh idol and told me to find a proper place for the idol, I found one. Strangely, thereafter a unique feeling started creeping in me, as if somebody always watching me and slowly steadily I got back the belief I lost but it was not religion or religious belief, it was spirituality and again I was visiting different religious places without much religious belief, only thinking God exists and always with me.
During those uncertain time when I visited my home, always narrated how I enjoyed my visit to the churches, my people was very scared thinking that I may converted to Christianity, and one day asked me
- are you converted?
I was surprised, said – Converted? What converted?
The moment I think about converting, I may be giving myself to the orthodox belief of religion and by converting to other religion, I would have been more Hindu than before. All those temples may be luring me more.
Today I understand it is a spirituality, and not religion that you need, it gives you total peace. I had born with stamp, because I was not having any choice but try to die without any.
!!! I decided to donate my body after life, so when my ends come, it will be without any religious stamp!!!
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