In the Name of the Students and the Gains (Pains?)

I did it, yes!!! Last eight months I was able to pull out one after one blog and believe me or not, I surprised myself than anyone else. Generally, Thursday is the D-Day and only once, I failed to post it on time, because I was away and late by a day. Even it is an odd page only, still is not that easy because I hardly have any time for this and often Thursday itself I remember that I yet to find a topic and write it out for the blog which due on that particular day. After editing when I finally post it, I do not bother much about the few mistakes left behind, because I wanted to write a simple memoir with some of my thoughts and not wanted to be literally correct or never tried to step in the shoes of any bards. While writing I always tried my best and remain politically correct, avoid writing a thing which may hurt some one, no I am not going to say that I never hurt by others, I want forgive them and not forget them, because they are my real source of inspiration. Now onwards things will get worse as I am planning another blog, only for my students.

Left alone other students, while talking about my Engineering students certainly request god to save others from them. As per their schedule, they have to appear for two Semesters in a year, May-June is the time for even Semesters and odd one in December. Every time their preparation starts for the said Semester just month before it and keep harassing me (word is too hard? Nope!) such way that last December I was almost verge of breaking down. I told them seriously that ‘This is impossible for me, if you are studying like this then please do not come for next Semester, otherwise I am going to quit’. I was damn serious, but some of my other students given me certain guidelines or rather call it timelines, some said just wait for another four years and then go ahead and retire and some advised me to wait for another three years and so on as per their own needs.

Often have to cross the boundary and that mean putting myself in a grieve situation. Once such occasion, I found myself in hot soup and experienced my worst mental dilemma. In my whole life whenever I appeared for an examination, never sneak peek through other examinees paper, even sometime I may not fully prepared for it. My dearest student RSN, day before going to his practical examination told me ‘Mam, if I need anything then I may call you at 2a.m., keep your cell ON otherwise I have to wake you’. Anyway, he never called on that night neither waked me up but he did a thing that made me nervous. He called me from examination hall and that the moment, which will be very difficult for me to forget. Helping him, it was totally against my principle and at the same time I was feeling pity for him, finally what happened between us let it be a secret between us.

After relaxing a bit in month of December I came up with the idea to write a blog, where I can write down a few things that mostly never go inside their brain. Why not? They really possess a very costly brain, no match to our, see amount of bucks spend on each.

I also coming up with another blog where I will publish a few excerpt from my stories, that will be a fortnightly. Most of my free times will be preoccupy by these things. Also planning to launch an E-magazine with my students and hope in coming months I am getting into it.

!!!So totally bogged down by the blog, frankly not a bad thing to do, enjoying every moment of it!!!

Longed for a power boon?

Yesterday, 20th January was a special day. In Vedic calendar it is month of Magha and yesterday was the 5th day, also known as Vasant Panchami, time for Saraswati puja, considered to be a very auspicious day too. Saraswati puja meant a lot for me during my early days. When we used to study, not for the jobs we studied only because we have to study. Our parents wanted us to study, so we studied and learn a bit during the journey. On those days we were so scared that if we failed to pray Saraswati properly then we might even failed in the examination. Sounds very funny, life was all fun for us.

Goddess Saraswati (Goddess of learning) always having a special place in me. Everybody from musicians to scientists in India pray to her for guidance and knowledge. Even look at the deity itself, it is bit different from others, with very neat and clean looks and always in white. Those who first imagined it really had a great artistic views and imagination. Even today, I cannot totally ignore the goddess Saraswati. Of course, now I am looking beyond of those failing or passing logic.

Frankly speaking, I am not very happy; I think Saraswati was not too kind to me. I do not know if I was expecting too much, because I am not a Kalidasa, sitting and cutting the same branch of a tree. Only tree I ever climbed was my neighbour guava tree that too when I was in Kolkata. How foolish I was why never ever tried the way Kalidasa did; now it is too late. In my next life ( reincarnation - you cannot call it Sach ka Samna, may be Samne ka Samna) I wish to repackaged myself as a super fool as Kalidasa and let me see if I can too manage a boon from my beloved goddess. Past is past, still don’t you think she was bit biased, I mean concerning Kalidasa.

After coming back to Kolkata, this time around once again encountered with various pujas and other religious activities. I was least bothered by all those, difference only in case of Saraswati puja and here I am the one who is little biased. Started the rituals in my office after couple of year I realized that your most prize possession on this day is the priest. They are really one you looked for and wait for the way a soldier’s wife waits years after years for her husband to return from battlefield. If they promised you a date on 8a.m. in the morning then you can expect him by mid afternoon, that also if you are very lucky one. End of third year I stop performing the same. Last five years am doing it at my home. Because still I cannot ignore Saraswati.

Jokes apart, I am thankful to God for whatever I got, I will end with this piece of Saraswati Sholoka -

Yaa Kundendu tushaara haara-dhavalaa / Yaa shubhra-vastra'avritha / Yaa veena-vara-danda-manditakara / Yaa shwetha padma'asana / Yaa brahma'achyutha
shankara prabhritibhir Devai-sadaa Vanditha / Saa Maa Paatu Saraswati Bhagavatee
Nihshesha jaadyaa-pahaa.

!!!In the first place why, I am complaining? I am too writing and feeling great. Even I am better than Kalidasa, I know bit Sanskrit, Ha!! Poor Kalidasa, he had no idea about English, Bengali and Hindi.!!!

Two beautiful words of Sonali Dasgupta Rossellini and A tribute to her son Gil Rossellini

Watching a documentary film is a rare thing for most of us. I can say that accidentally it has happened to me, when I saw ‘Kill Gill Vol-1’ sometime around 2006. It was a documentary of different kind, where filmmaker Gil Rossellini was telling his own story and experiences following a freak bacterial infection in late 2004 that has left him a paraplegic. It was all about his survival story and his fight with the staphylococcus bacteria. It was just awesome and moving. While surfing the net to know more about the documentary and the virus itself, I also came to know about his Indian connection that too was also very interesting one. Last week almost after more than a year of his death I stumbled to Cory O’Conner article ‘Rest in piece’, I was shocked and also surprised that a news buff like me, how missed out the news of his sad demise, then I remember the time Gil Rossellini died I was moving all-around Madhya Pradesh. I just ignored all the 20 newspaper left in front of my doorstep in my absence. Reading Cory O’Conner article, gives me the idea of other quality of the great man. I will pick a drop from Tagore Ocean to pay little tribute to his heavenly soul

Amar mukti alloy alloy ei akashe
Amar mukti dhulay dhulay ghase ghase
Amar mukti sarbajaner maner majheDuhkha-bipad tuchha kara kathin kaje
[My deliverance is in the lighted firmament, in every dust particle and in every grass of the earth. My salvation is in the universal mind and in my exertions defying all dangers and disappointments].

Finding a documentary film in CDs or DVDs is rare thing in India. I like to get hold of other two volumes also. Therefore, I am looking forward to another two of the same series ‘Kill Gill Vol-2’ and ‘Kill Gill Vol-2½ ’.

While paying tribute to an extraordinary son I also like to write a few words about his wonderful mother, most probably now she is living in some other part of the globe. Her dignity in silence is incomparable. Her resume is so outstanding and exceptional one:

- An alumni of Santiniketan, and may be studied in the presence of Tagore himself, the period which was also known as Bengal’s own renaissance. In Santiniketan she was also having some other distinguish alumni too and one of them was Indira Gandhi. Among many other qualities, she was a quality writer herself too.

In my whole life, I never saw anybody carrying a sari as she has done and that too in a land where six yards were alien. Even somebody somewhere described her –In those saris, she used to look likes deity. However, I am writing it only because I was awestruck by her two-word answer to a question asked by someone - Where and how did you acquire such a serene detachment?

Her answer was - I’m Indian.

This is it, what makes me sit up and read it repeatedly, because

!!! No matter wherever I was, I am and I will be, always an Indian, born as one and will die as same.!!!

New is attractive but old is always shining

Another year passed by and standing at the doorstep of this New Year, if I ask myself –
What’s New?
The answer is very simple one – nothing, as I am always working. Frankly speaking, there are no fond memories of New Year that can be share or written, of course, there are few ifs and buts exist in everywhere. I do not believe putting myself under any resolution. If I know that I am wrong then I should stop instantly, why to wait for 364 plus or minus days. After living a much-disciplined life, find there is nothing to prove or nothing left for me, which I can do other way. In future, I will like to do something for the unprivileged children at least what I can do the best, teaching computer and let me see if it is possible or not.

Now these days, I feel New Year belongs to the Mobile operators only, you can see real joy of New Year only on their faces; they really enjoy it more than anybody else does.

Last year around mid November, I was looking back to the year and found it very satisfactory; it was too early to do so, soon after 26/11 happened, those days were some of the worst of my life. Seeing so much blood all over the television screen and a real one, not from reel. Specially at Gate Way of India, the only place of Mumbai that remains unchanged over the year. I always have a very soft corner for Mumbai and cause is well known. This year I waited till the first morning of 2010 before assessing the year 2009 and it was too very satisfactory and most happening for me to getting the courage to write and that too here.

In India, we always celebrate two New Year, one from our own calendar and other from this Georgian calendar. Bengali New Year is more traditional one. When I was a kid used to get few bucks on that occasion, which was very rare and precious too.

Coming to those few exceptions, when I was in Singapore my friends forced me to take a few sip from a glass of champagne on that particular New Year eve, after that they started treating me like a child, as if I was very high. That was my last encounter with something like champagne. One such New Year eve that I spend at Santiniketan was also bit different from other but this one was very different from all others and that too for two very different reasons. The 1999 New Year eve was very different because, Year 2000 problem also known as the Y2K problem or the millennium bug and that time it was not look like a bug rather a monster itself. All over the globe everybody was sure, that all old computer clocks would stop ticking or something like that at 0.00-01/01/2000, but finally computers itself prove everyone wrong and broke my heart as I was thinking for a break. None of the glitches caused major incidents.

On that very New Year eve, it was Friday, I was meeting a friend in Dombivili and it was strict no-no from me for a New Year celebration. No I was not worried for the computer on which I was working, I was very disturb and thinking about the peoples those struck since 24th December 1999, in Khandar Airport in a hijacked Indian airlines plane IC-814. On 31 December 1999, evening they freed all the hostages and were flown back to India on a special plane, huge relive, no there was not a single face which known to me, but it made me sad. Also still feel very sad for the fellow who was stabbed and killed on same voyage, he was just married and gone to Nepal for honeymoon. Just think about the bride?

!!!All new things attracted us instantly, before taking our best foot forward, the last step always a most important one, while falling it may give us a new lease of life.!!!

Hi Grand Pa! Biased or missed me..

This is the same place, yes, I am talking about my hometown Kolkata, that was where I saw the first light of this beautiful world and by god’s choice in a Bengali family and that was a very orthodox Hindu family too. My granny and aunts used to perform many pujas but those were early Kolkata days. Life was very different that time. I remember my brother was having a Muslim friend who used to stay near by, on examination days before leaving both used to had there food together in our house. Only difference was that my brother used to have his food inside and his friend sitting outside. What a terrible thing? Again, my Granny, during one of those riots helped them to certain extent to get away from all troubles, so I do not blame my granny for those entire things; she was a prisoner of the system at that time. Finally, 99% of those thirty three million gods and goddess deserted me or I deserted them, when I moved to Jammy (Jamshedpur) but still somehow and somewhere hounded by those feelings and presence of those idols in the temples around me.

My encounter with Christianity started when I moved to Mumbai. A few Christian and Jews families were staying in the same building where I used to stay that time. My next door neighbour was itself a Roman Catholic form Goa and it was the beginning my long association with Christianity. The neighbour’s daughter was little older than me and a teacher by profession, even there was a huge gap between the two cultures of our upbringing, we bonded instantly and our long lasting friendship started from there. I fell for the way they pray and the discipline in the church and started visiting churches. That time onwards, I was visiting the churches regularly. Visited almost all famous churches of Mumbai. St Joseph church of Vikhroli was having a regular visitor in me. The famous St. Michael church, Mahim, visiting on Wednesdays Novena was nostalgia. St. Anthony Church, Sion and a few churches of Bandra. Liked most of those mid-night masses on Christmas, New Year and Easter eve. While returning from Mid-Night masses, it was all masti (enjoyment), always bought a few crackers which known as Patki-Bomb, sold just outside the church itself, to burst those crackers you need not required a matchstick just throw hard it on the ground as you do when you break a coconut and it make a loud noise while hitting the ground. While coming back from mid-night masses around 1.30 nights, always used to burst a few near my Hindu friends doorstep. Do not think I was a child that time; I was already my own bread earner. During that period, I enjoyed my Christmas very much. Even when I was in abroad, I visited churches regularly.

This year I bought a huge Christmas tree, this is third one in my collection. Next time most probably my family will throw me out if one more added to these. I decorated and lighted all three and while going to sleep it is always feel good factor for me when I look back at the tiny twinkles on those trees. That is the spirit of Christmas.

Over the year I also find it strange thinking that the most celebrated bringer of gift kept me out from his list. Where are you St. Nicholas? Getting old? Buy a computer, I will write a program for you and it will be a Christmas gift for you.

!!!Santa! Missed me all the way. Getting old? I am waiting for you, just act fast old man, before it is too late…!!!

Alexander Sir! Kudos for three S. Sucked, Suffocated and Strangled by your telephone cord

After Sir Alexander Graham Bell invented this tool long back, has travelled a long distance and come to the ages where we can finally call it ‘walk and talk’. I was calling a friend from a local post office. Surprised? I am talking about the days when I was in school and most probably studying in eight standard. Experience was bit scary; I was very nervous and almost shaking. That was the first time and all first timers for different things will come out with different stories.

Of Course, I will remember Sir Alexander Graham Bell for other thing, he was the person who introduced Helen Keller to a wonderful human named Anne Mansfield Sullivan (Macy) and I feel that magic was even bigger.

When first time I landed in Mumbai (then Bombay), to get a telephone connection you have to bribe the peoples from top to bottom and if you wanted it very fast then the amount of bribe, hold your breath it was something around twenty five thousand, unless you know somebody over there (its always happens yar). Back home Kolkata it was then a prize possession and even in early nineties the telephone in our house was always dead like a cold body lying in the morgue; only difference was that sometime there was a bit sign of life I mean in the instrument which installed and always lying in our sitting room. Early eighties I was calling a friend in Dubai, on those days an ISD call means minimum three hundred rupees. She was Egyptian, English was alien to her, and even I could speak Arabic very fluently but not writing it. When Last time I talked, her chips were down for something and I was speechless for a moment, before I could gather myself telephone line disconnected. So paying 300 bucks every time was not a mater of joke. Today I am armed with seven email accounts, 3 phones and two permanent address but things were very different that time, neither of us were having even a permanent address. After few years, I never able to trace her back, finally I lost a friend due to telephone or due to bill, no due to my misery, still now I try to find her sons in the social networking site. At the stroke of this millennium, one of my client from abroad refused to work with me unless and until I change my internet connection from Dial-Up to lease line. When I gone through the charges of lease line, gosh, I had a very strong heart which survived and strong chair too, it hold me before falling down.

A pager was worse and even more terrifying; no soon, you got a message you have to rush to the nearest booth to make a phone call. Imagine somebody having a bit nice time, at middle of the night in a quite place (every one have the right to do so) and got a pager from wifey.

Thanks to the Internet, the Babu’s at the Telecom office realized that the office and a new connection was not their paternal property.

Finally mobile arrived in India, in beginning it was just a status symbol and occasionally used for an outgoing calls and mostly to those three free numbers which provided by company. Most of the time incoming call remains unanswered.

After Reliance started their operation, a total freedom to incoming calls, and outgoing charges too reduced every day, handset was very reachable. I was happy with my landline but one day I also got mobile with a cell phone and not with Mobil.

After accruing the gadget of course with a lifeline (SIM), I also joined the league of ‘walk and talk’. I love to interact with myself a lot, with a mobile in my hand and while walking down the lane alone can pretend to talk and that too with myself, crazy thing to do, no because –

!!!In this world there is only one who will listen to you constantly and enjoy your smile unconditionally, that is you.!!!

Black or white?

In Kolkata, we were having a helping hand, she worked over 20 years then one day she left because of old age. A few days back while going to work I saw her in the same area, she came all the way and asked ‘Didi Kemon Acho’ (Didi how are you?) and told me how she was severely affected by Aila (Cyclone). Her house is destroyed so once again she have to start all over at this age, my heart felt for her but only this what I can do for her. After she left it was very difficult for us to fill the void, we decided to go wise and tried what I always liked Self-Help-Done. It was not easy as all our family member out by early morning, other work is OK with us but wiping floors was a big problem, around 1200Sq.Ft is not mater of joke, when I was going through all my innovative idea to find a easy way to wipe the floors we finally found a helping hand and very good one. Lady always flashing a beautiful smile and like to chatter a bit, I feel both qualities are belongs to peoples with genuine approach. Anyway it is not about the lady what I am writing today, it is all about what she said last Sunday.

Sunday is the day when I look after the garden and cleaning outside. This how I like to spent my most desirable Sunday mornings. I often bumped to my student while doing the odd jobs, they amused a lot as in Kolkata the attitude more like Have-it-Done then Self-Help-Done, so they even enquire ‘Mam what are you doing?’ I replied ‘I am not earning enough from you, so looking for some part-time and you can call this is an advertisement’. Last Sunday was not a exception and while working backyard, she was washing clothes just told me ‘see Babu’s white socks, how dirty it is, why school never allows black socks, it is not get as dirty as white one.’ Babu means my grand nephew.

Her words stuck to my mind like glue and I was thinking since, this is a new problem with me thinking a lot for nothing and the product of this new virus are these 27 rubbish in my blog and 5 stories of different sizes. Since big debate was going around my mind - is black never getting that dirty? Is it spotless? I always preferred white but spotless and that is not possible so I cannot use it. Still hardly, use black.

Look at those so called developed countries and those fair (white) faces with unfair attitude, once they wanted to rule the world and even started a cold war to prove their superiority and experimented with other weaker countries and even on space and moon (?), and see what mess they made around. These white faces are not spotless, having blood all over their bods. One of the two fallen like nine pins behind the iron curtain and other still is going through the sinister plots. According to their dictionary, we Asian neither black nor white we are either brown or yellow.

I am very big fan of few of those dark skins. Dear MJ, in life and death, I will be always a very big fan of you but your life would have been good without all those cosmetic surgery. You looked awesome in Thriller album. The Flo-Jo and her breath taking appearance in Seoul Olympic, the ‘Fastest women in the earth’ may died eleven years back still living in me. Then there is Jackie Joyner. I will prefer to watch Whoopi Goldberg over ten Sharon Stone or a Denzel Washington to Jude law. Once I was very much awestruck by Marion Jones and Tiger Wood, but all of certain there are so many spot around. What Tiger was doing, after having his soul mate from Sweden (a blonde too), I think he was in blonde exploration expedition.

!!!Its black or white, both can be spotless, you need bit self restrain and courage to overcome the big ‘T’ (Temptation)!!!